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Podcast > Saturday, 2 February 2013 06:44:58 EST

Dumbass Podcast 15: BONUS - DME Hangout Part 1

Keywords: ancient aliens, religion, atheism, conspiracy

Special bonus episode involving a chat with Chris Webber and Mike Bohler, my Dumbass Media Empire friends!

00:00 - 12:39: Introduction, DME chat part 1
12:39 - 18:23: Dumbass thoughts on Ancient Aliens & Lovecraft
18:23 - 29:20: DME chat part 2
29:20 - 35:13: Dumbass thoughts on Dennis Markuze
35:13 - 44:45: DME chat part 3
44:45 - 48:56: Concluding thoughts

Links/Topics Mentioned:
In Memoriam: Philip Coppens - 1971 - 2012
A Copy of the Full Markuze Email/Post


What SirTallGuy Sent Me:
The Image
The Audio Remix

The following is the transcript from the solo parts of the episodes. The unscripted conversation wasn't transcribed.

Hello everybody! It's your friendly neighbourhood Dumbass here bringing you another episode of The Dumbasses Guide To Knowledge.  Today's episode will be a special bonus episode marking the beginning of the third year that I've been doing this podcasting thing. Who could have predicted that a mere two years after I'd started doing this I'd still be incredibly incompetent at it, but having more fun than ever!

Anyway, this episode will be a little bit different from my usual fare.  I got together with my good friends and media empire cohorts Chris Webber and Mike Bohler to have an end of the year chat, and we decided that this recording will belong to all three of us to use as bonus materials for our own podcasts. Chris and Mike have already put our conversation on their own individual shows, so if you've listened to either of them then this will be mostly a repeat for you.

However, what I will be doing to give this episode my own flavour is putting in breaks where I will bring you extra material of my own, and if you're at all interested in that the timeline will be on the website at So fast forward to those parts if you've heard this conversation but are still interested in the other stuff I have to say... which you should be. Why the hell are you listening to this if you don't want to know what I have to say?

Anyway, let's get to the discussion! I should give Chris credit for the idea, but he graciously decided to make me the center of attention by playing my theme song to start us off. Here's how it went down:

Speaking of Ancient Aliens, that quote just now was from a book debunking the Ancient Aliens theory. I have been doing a lot of research into Ancient Aliens in my spare time, and I've been taking notes and putting my material together for future projects on the subject. This book, Crash go the Chariots, was written in response to Daniken's Chariots of the Gods in 1972.

I bought myself a copy expecting to find some handy references, but I was mostly disappointed. There were a few useful tidbits, but overall it's mostly useful if you just want an example of a misstep in the historical discussion of this topic.Something else I've been doing is reading a good chunk of H.P. Lovecraft's works.

Lovecraft is one of the big influences on the Ancient Alien theory, so I figured that it would be a good idea to take a look at his stories for myself to help me understand this mindset. One thing I've noticed is the blatant mystery mongering. Lovecraft's stories are full of references to things that are so horrible that the human mind canot contemplate them without going crazy.

Often he wants to have it both ways. Take, for example, this quote from his story The Nameless City, where the protagonist discovers ancient art in a long abandoned city depicting strange beings:   

To convey any idea of these monstrosities is impossible. They were of the reptile kind,with body lines suggesting sometimes the crocodile, sometimes the seal

This is followed by a description of their size, limbs, and heads. So, the gist is that to convey any of these monstrosities is impossible... but allow me to now convey to you an idea of these monstrosities...

Lovecraft does this kind of thing all the time. In the Call of Cthulu when Cthulu shows up he writes    

The Thing cannot be described - there is no language for such abysms of shrieking andimmemorial lunacy, such eldritch contradictions of all matter, force, and cosmic order.

But, of course, Lovecraft has already described Cthulu perfectly well from its statue, and this is obviously the same creature. It's got an octopus like head with tentacles, a scaly body, and wings... not impossible to describe at all. Not even difficult to describe.

It strikes me that this kind of mystery mongering that wants to have it both ways is mirrored in the material of Ancient Alien proponents. They want to tell you that they've got the answers to missing pieces of our past that aren't written in the history books, but they don't like to be pinned down on any details.

I don't think they really want to find detailed answers, I think they just want a compelling mystery.Of course, I'm just basing this on my own conversations with Ancient Alien proponents. I won't say that this is necessarily or universally the way that most of them feel.

But there does seem to be a strong element of this kind of this kind of mystery mongering in there. As for myself, I find solved mysteries much more compelling than unsolved ones, but I guess there *is* that element of possibility that incites the imagination when a story leaves you with more questions than answers.

Anyway, let's get back to the discussion, already in progress.

And now a quote by Caryl Haxworth, author of the website Charms of Light   

Hematite utilises the magnetic qualities of our yin-yang energies to balance the meridians within the body and to provide a stable equilibrium between the ethereal nervous system and the physical nervous system.  It focuses energy and emotions for balance between the body, mind and spirit.

Awesome!! I didn't know we were playing new age mad libs!! Wait, wait... letme try this one myself... Let's see, we need a mineral, a basic force of nature,a type of new age energy.. okay, hold on.....

*writing sounds*

Okay, got it!

Kryptonite utilizes the gravitational qualities of our astral energies tobalance the ectoplasm within the body and to provide a stable equilibriumbetween ascended matter and physical matter. It focuses consciousness, aura, and karma for a balance between metaphysics, spirit, and the higherself.

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh new age madlibs! I love the way you make random nonsensealmost sound like it means something!

That quote was brought to you by a listener named SirTallGuy, who sent me a very nice email, and I wanted to surprise him by using it on the show, so I haven't said anything to him.

SirTallGuy, I just want you to know that you're awesome! SirTallGuy had some very nice things to say about me, and he answered my challenge for a cool quote to make fun of when I'd completely given up on that challenge. He's also given me a 5 star review that's a complete non sequitur, just what I asked for in the last episode. His review said:   

I really enjoy toe-shoes

SirTallGuy, you deserve not only to win the prize I've been dangling in front of everybody, but a second one as well! Now, I couldn't find out where to buy a pair of toe shoes for you, but I have here two items to send you and if you write me another email with your address I will send those right off to you!

SirTallGuy also provided me with a cute photoshopped image, and an amusing audio remix of some stuff I've said. I've got to say SirTallGuy, that audio remix was low hanging fruit, but even so I really appreciate it. I will include links to both of these in the show notes at

Next episode I'll go over some more reviews. By the way, if any of you have given me a review on iTunes or anywhere else that you want me to look at, especially if it's a complete non sequitur, send me an email at EMAIL. If you're using itunes in a country other than the US or Canada, I would love the heads up because the reviews for each country are on separate pages.

Speaking of emails, something really cool happened to me recently. I finally got an email from David Mabus AKA Dennis Markuze, the guy who was going around spamming skeptics and atheists and making a big nuisance of himself. I never received anything from him the first time he was making the rounds, before he was legally ordered to stop.

I became aware that he up to his old tricks again when I received a very strange email from a user calling himself xjustos. Now, he claims not to be Markuze, and there's no reason to think that it couldn't just be a copycat, but everybody seems to agree that this is the actual guy so I'm going along with it.

Kind of makes me feel like I'm actually doing something worthwhile that I've finally blipped onto his radar. I'm still not entirely sure how that happened, since nothing in his email bears any relation to any topics that I've ever covered,  but however I got on his list I'm really glad that I did because this email is awesome!

On the surface it's mostly incomprehensible statements, links to youtube videos, and a running narrative of those videos. But if you really take the time to look at it, it's so much more than that!

All of you who've been complaining about this guy, I think you're looking at it entirely the wrong way. This isn't annoying spam, it's actually some of the best beat poetry I've ever seen! Don't believe me? Let me quote some of the best parts for you:

5000 whining atheists vs the Great Prophet

one applicant right here...
get the POINT, Randi....
for lies on top of lies

do you think you can threaten my right to FREE SPEECH?
what if I told you that I am not who you think I amů.
Not Dennis Markuze - but a FAN!

1 hr 39 min 50 sec The mocking of SPIRITS!
1 hr 40 min 27 sec Reference made to the TERROR of witnessing a supernatural event, i.e, the blood leaving the face
1 hr 41 min 15 sec Reference to "these people"
1 hr 41 min 40 sec Belief in the supernatural is claimed to be a psychological defence mechanism to cope with reality. Swiss talks about how desperate the psychics become when debunked. Little does he know what is happening to the skeptics!

which WORLD-VIEW will not exist, sh*thead?
we don't care about the atheist, either!

nd now, a quote from Filmmaker Jay Weidner   

We are switching from solar time to galactic time ... since time is fourth dimensional,it's a fundamental shift in the way that the layers of hyperspace interact with us on the ground ... things are going to get more and more caught into a dream-like presence where the past and the future and everything are going to begin happening all at once. I know this sounds awfully strange but those of us who understand Alchemy and Hyperdimensional physics, they understand what I'm saying. The rest of you will get it soon enough, and most of you probably already feel it. That's where it all really comes through anyway is the heart. The heart is really the mind of the higher dimension while the brain is the mind of the third dimension.

Now, you may very well ask, if the heart is the mind of the higher dimensions, does that mean the brain is actually the heart of the higher dimensions? No. Actually, the liver is the heart of the higher dimensions.

In these higher dimensions, the brain actually performs the role of the lungs. It seems really complicated, I know, but rest assured that those of us who understand Alchemy and Hyperdimensional physics understand what I'm talking about.

And just for your information, if we were actually talking about this on the higher dimensions, we wouldn't be using our lips to speak. It is actually the anus that is the lips of the higher dimensions.

This quote was actually sent to me by my good friend Stuart Robbins, host of the Exposing Pseudoastronomy podcast. Stu, you're getting a prize for this! Go ahead and send me your mailing address. I've actually received a couple other possible quotes from listeners recently, and if you've sent one in then thank you very much for that. If I don't use it, it's most likely because I haven't been able to figure out an angle on it that I can use for my purposes. But ridiculous quotes are always welcome!

Anyway, at this point in the editing process I'm discovering that I have more material to use up than I'd expected, so what I'm going to do is cut this conversation into two episodes. If you're eager to hear the rest of it, you can certainly listen to the full conversation on either C-Webb's Sunday School at, or on A Skeptic's Guide to Conspiracy at - both of these podcasts are also available at

For those of you who've notice problems, I've been working out solutions for more reliable file hosting and also for more web based methods of enjoying my podcasts. Please excuse my inadequacies while I struggle to try and make sure everything's working exactly as I need it to. If you were having problems downloading any episodes before, I think you should see an improvement now. Let me know if any of you have any problems.

And that brings us to the end of another episode of the Dumbasses Guide to Knowledge. My theme music is My Monkey by Jonathan Coulton, feel free to contact me or send PayPal donations to EMAIL, follow me on twitter where my handle is @DumbassMedia. Write me a five star review on iTunes, and remember that it doesn't have to make any sense whatsoever. You guys are all the best, thank you so much for listening. I hope your new year has gotten off to a great start, and I'll see you next time on the Dumbasses Guide to Knowledge!


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